Martha Stewart eat your heart out

My friend D.U. is so amazingly sweet and thoughtful. He planned a dinner for four of us and I was excited. I thought it would be the standard food and fun. When we arrived, there was a beautiful table scape and the house and a nice ambiance. There was a tuna and salmon spread laid out very fancy like. I ate it and I don't even like seafood. We had chicken parmesan which was delicious. It wasn't just the food. It's about the thought and effort that went into the presentation. It was the small little details of plating and garnishing. I think everyone wants to feel important and special. When anyone does something that requires effort, it doesn't go unnoticed. It is always amazing to know and see that there are truly thoughtful people who make a point to impress and have others enjoy themselves.
My two other friends who were there was making a dating documentary. I think it's a great idea. I think everyone needs to have awareness towards the opposite sex. I got to video tape some of the skits and let me tell you it was hilarious. I can't say too much because there will be the official unveil on March 10th but I think that this documentary is a nice approach to dating. It isn't about making people date more but to understand men and woman better. Even in this late age and the experiences people go through, there is still the mystery of the opposite sex. I have to admit I was amazed to learn new things. No one should sad about themselves or think they are desperate to want be a part of the documentary because we are all in the same boat. Smart, beautiful and charming people are also single. You can't compare yourself to anyone else. It's just about understanding you, your situation and knowing how to work it to you.

Useless Goals

I’m a pretty laid back person. Most things don’t bother me. Well I should say the things that should bother me don’t but the things that people can care less about, I really dwell on. Case in point: I lose my wallet all the time. One time it was stolen out of my car and I didn’t realize for two days. I was annoyed but it didn’t really freak me out. I knew what I needed to do to take care of it so I did. The reason it got stolen in the first place is because not only do I not care to lock my car, I don’t always roll the window up. As my sister J said, it’s not really stealing if you leave it out there to be taken. It’s just called finder’s keeper. I constantly run out of gas because I really hate to pump gas. It’s just really tedious and occurs way too fast. When my car cruises to a stop ( on the freeway twice) I don’t really get nervous. I take it quite well. I also don’t care to lock the door, close windows and I go to the bathroom with the door open. Most people make these things a priority to care for but not me. Yet I obsess over “climbing the facebook ladder.” It’s a pathetic goal I know. What makes it even more pathetic is that I don’t really care about it; it just strikes my fancy right now. I also choose to be picky about how my oranges are eaten. It takes me such a long time to eat one because I have to peel everything and take off as much of the membrane as I possibly can. I can’t eat any of the skin. So it becomes a huge mess trying to get only the meat. I can do it the easy way by just slicing it and sucking the juice but I can’t waste anything either so sometimes I just don’t eat them. I won’t take 2 seconds to go back home to put my contacts on if I forget but I’ll drive over an hour if I leave my makeup somewhere. I question my priorities at times. I know everyone thinks they have quirks and theirs are the weirdest. I don’t think I’m exceptionally weird but I am misplaced at times. I don’t really care to change either. I mean I’m… of a certain age. At this point I know myself pretty well and I’m pretty O.K. with most of it. I’m fully capable of changing anything when I want to. I guess I’m satisfied with who I am. Anyone who wants to be around all this glory will just have to love me for who I am and believe as much as I do that I’m really charming.

Jack of All Trades

We all know mechanics or should I say the mechanic industry robs us blind. I try not to be a victim of this as much as possible. So my brakes have been grinding for the last week. I basically know I need to change them. It’s just such a pain but as I’ve encountered problems with my car, I’ve also become a lot savvier to those thieves. I’ve changed my brake pads before and was so amazed at how simple but time consuming it was. I’m not as daunted by the mechanics of cars but I’m still always annoyed because I know it’s going to be a day’s work. So I took my car to Just Brakes (yea I’m calling them out) and I think they think I’m a sucker. The dude in charge was telling me all sorts of stuff that I needed to get done and I was like, um ok, so just need new brake pads? I’ll do them myself. He was nice to me at first because he thought he could sucker me. When it seemed like I somewhat new my stuff he started to be more curt and annoyed. I guess I would be too if someone had me take off all the tires, do an inspection and then say no thanks. Whatever though. That’s his job. It passes the time. I’ve worked customer service so I know how it is. He was going to charge me 90 bucks for front, 90 for back brakes and 90 bucks to change a fuel filter. I know that the filter costs $7 at Auto Zone and I can get brake pads for under $30. The only think is I don’t have any tools and I kinda need supervision. Luckily I know someone who can do the labor for cheap and he doesn’t lie to me. Just Brakes told me I needed back brakes but I really didn’t. I watched the whole time they were doing my car and the mechanics showed me some shavings left on my back brakes. They said that was the shavings of the drums wearing down. They lied though because if you know the operations of how back brakes work, you know those shavings are normal. All cars do that. I may be a girl, and yes, a very typical girl with cars but I’m not stupid about them. I know my stuff. I can change my own tires, batteries, oil and other minor maintenance work. I can even push start a car. The more I learn about cars the less intimidated I get with mechanics. I remember when I was really young and took my car in to get repaired I paid $300 for the maintenance. I was pretty happy until I read the itemized list and thought about what the parts did and realized that I basically paid that much for a simple spark plug change. I vowed not to be stupid like that ever again or at least to research and ask questions. Today I also learned how warranties work. I had paid for pads before and they had a lifetime warranty but I don’t ever pay too much attention to them. So I bought new ones and the person fixing my car today told me that I can always get free pads b/c of the warranty. Sweet. So I saved even more money because I didn’t have to buy new parts. I want all women to not be scared about cars. Honestly they aren’t that complicated and a lot of things you can do yourself. It really is just time consuming and dirty.

I'm Not Five Anymore

There was this crazy cool gymnasium party I went to last night. Now I know it said we were going to be at a gym and there were gymnastic stuff there but it was also a birthday party so I was in a it’s a Saturday Night Party state of mind. I wore my flowy top and sparkly heels. Boy was I way off. We were literally in a gymnastics studio and we were doing gymnastic stuff. I was happy enough to make my grand entrance in my cute outfit (even though it made me look like those high maintenance girls who wear makeup while camping). Well anyone who knows me knows that not having the correct attire has never stopped me from getting down and sweaty. Within minuets the heels were off and I was on the verge of breaking my neck on the trampoline. I quickly realized that a gymnastics trampoline isn’t the same as the wickedly safe ones you find in someone’s backyard. It is 10 times more potent. There were times I thought I was going to die. The best thing was I was able to fulfill my childhood fantasies of being a great gymnast. I couldn’t do any flips, twists or cartwheels but I can leap into to air and fall flat on my front like no other. My one attempt to flip ended with my neck landing on the floor half a second before my body. I heard at least 7 bone clinks coming from my neck. For a second I was really scared I broke something. But as I heard the laughter and looks of fear from the people around I didn’t want to look stupid so I got up and ignored the pain throbbing in my neck. In my defense I really wanted to flip. It’s just that it’s so scary so I chickened out at the last second which was a critical second. That kinda stopped my fantasy of being a great gymnast and played Frisbee instead. I’ll just watch the summer Olympics this year for floor exercises and balance beams instead. I woke up with my neck super sore and my calves in pain. I’m getting really old and out of shape but it was awesome.

All hail Servers

I am very grateful that there are people out there who can serve food to others. For one I would eat a little from each plate I handed out and two people are annoying when they are eating. I went to Chile's last night and had a great time. There was just a point during dinner when I realized how loud our party of 10 or so was. The poor waiter. We weren't exactly annoying but if I were him I would be thinking "they better leave a huge tip but I'm sure they're not." I don't have that happy optimism that is needed to serve others. I might be able to fake for a few minuets but then my annoyance will start to show. I wouldn't be a spitter, mind you, but I would be a loud exhaler and obvious eye roller. Which would then make me lose my tip, which would make me despise the customers and make me fantasize about spitting in their food. Mind you I’ll probably still be that loud annoying customer but I have a higher appreciation for those that have the patience to work as a server. Here is my salute to the service community.
In my life as a blogger I’ve acquired a new Asian brother Wan. (he's really truly one of the whitest people I know). He was my Facebook buddy and has graduated to becoming my Asian brother. I feel a lot closer than if we were blood siblings. Anyone can become that by the emerging of two bloods. This is much deeper, much more meaningful. It is an oral contract made by two people who only see each other periodically, randomly read each other's Facebook persona and make empty promises. It is the friendship that brightens up your day for those few minuets that you exchange witty quips. So here’s to Wan and the many internet connections in the future.

I'm not a good mom

I woke up and found Hunter dead. I think I just numbed my feelings because I didn’t want to feel like failure. Part of me wanted him to live so I can feel validated about being responsible and that I can actually keep something alive. It wasn’t that I had emotions for a fish but I think it symbolized my ability to care for something other than myself. I think what might have done him in was the lettuce. I found him tangled in it. Oh well. I’m not sappy enough to have a watery funeral so he had a garbage disposal funeral. It was convenient.
I got a cool pen from my roommate K.M. It’s from Sibiu. It was the European Capital of Culture in 2007. She say’s it’s the most romantic city she’s ever been to. I’ll take her word for it because I’ve never seen a romantic place before. Stockton, Phoenix and San Antonio don’t exactly make for romance. One day I will travel to the places that she tells me about. I’m just collecting souvenir through her right now.

Hunter Lives another day

I Googled goldfish food and discovered that they love lettuce. I know I was supposed to buy fish food but I keep forgetting. My roommate suggested I feed it bread and I did. I think that's what has helped Hunter survive the weekend. I don't think that bread can keep him alive forever and since I keep forgetting to buy food, I asked Google. Google knows all. If you can't find what you want on Google it's only because you aren't asking the right questions. Anyways, it said that they like lettuce and cooked peas. I totally have lettuce. So Hunter will be a very happy pet from now on. I hope he doesn't die. I might be a little sad.

Welcome Back Roomie

My roomie Kim finally is back from Romania. It's great to see and be able to talk to her again. It took most of the afternoon to catch up. Again I am reminded of how lucky I am to have all my great friends. The old ones from childhood and all my new friends. Here's a shout out to Brad Auble from the bottom of my (chocolate) heart. You know what I'm talking about.

27 Dresses

As a girl, I'll admit I'm a sucker for romantic comedies. My friend D.U. and I went to see 27 Dresses and it was pretty cool. I've been disappointed in the last few romantic comedies I've seen but this one was worth it. It was funny and sweet and James Marsdon was not only cute but very very charming. In my fantasy I would love to meet someone like him. Nice but not a push over, confident but not cocky, able to push the right buttons, a little irritating but charismatic. Basically my dream guy. Anyway watch 27 Dresses. It's movie full price worthy. Another movie that I just think is really cool is She's the Man. I thought it looked really stupid but it's really funny. Amanda Bines does really good goofy comedy. I was very surprised at how much I liked it and laughed at the stupid, even predictable, plot line. I would go so much as to day it's one of my favorite movies. Watch it, you won't be disappointed.

Hunter

Hunter is the goldfish leftover from the Surprise Date. He was acquired during the scavenger hunt. That was a week ago. He is still alive and I have yet to feed him. I feel so bad every night when I find that he's still alive. I always promise that I will buy food the next day but I always forget. I get home late and see that he's still swimming and remember that I need to buy food. Amazingly he isn't dead. Why is it that people are always telling me that their fish died. Apparently it's easier to keep a goldfish alive than I thought. It's not that I want him to die it's just that he hasn't eaten in a week and is still living. I hope to buy food tomorrow cause right now I'm a bad pet owner. I guess I should feel good about my parenting skills. If Hunter dies tomorrow then all hope will be lost.

Valentine's Day Date

Some people call today S.A.D. Day (singles awareness day) or Love Day. We all know who means what. I don't think that not having a valentines date makes you a single loser. A friend invited me to a reject party which I find kinda lame. I would never call myself a reject or anyone who wasn't dating someone during this time of year. Who says you can't go out on this day of amour? Who says you can't just spend today with your friends? I decided a few days ago to take my good friend Chrissy out. Her boyfriend had to work and she had helped me so much for the Surprise Date that I wanted to pay her back. We went to Macaroni Grill and man was it crazy. Good thing I put my name on the list on my home. The wait time was one hour and forty-five minuets. That gave me just enough time to go home, get ready and get Chrissy. The timing was great and we had a good dinner and caught up. I think this should be a lesson to all who think they are rejects and have to stay home on this day of Valentine. Go out if you want. Have fun and don't care what anyone else thinks. I refuse to deny myself the right to participate in whatever holiday I choose.

what the...??

This month has been one for weird comments/compliments. First, I was hanging out with a friend when he stated that I had "Big" hands. Who says that first of all and second, who says that to a girl. He corrected himself by saying that my hands are ginormous compared to my height. Thanks again buddy. I just said my customary thanks and guilted him into apologizing. It's not that I was offended, it's just more of a thinker. It was actually quite funny in a "he's so weird way." Then on Monday my other friend gave me an idea to get me on Regis and Kelly ( for my 5 minuets of fame I've always wanted). I was into it until he said I can represent Asians and show the whole world that we too can be pretty. What the ?? Again I said thanks with a bewildered look. He tried to explain but I just told him to put the shovel away. I don't know if I should feel good about being the best of the worst or if I should feel bad because I am destined to be doomed. Then this other dude was telling me that there was no way anyone should confuse me for Chinese because I'm too dark. Now I know that doesn't sound so insulating in the age of Tanorexia but as an Asian person, the lighter you are, the prettier you are. I don't really buy into that belief but when you've grown up hearing that your whole life, it kinda strikes a chord. It's not that any of these comments are insulting or meant to be negative towards me but what the ****? How is one supposed to take any of this. It's like a backhanded compliment or observation. I'm not sounding off as much as just trying to get it. Or boys are just really dumb and don't know the right things to say. I think I've just been in awkward company.

Sad day

So I didn't get the chance to go to IHOP. I'm sad but not as sad as I thought I would be. I guess I'm growing as a person. Makeup is my down fall. I am very conscious of my spending but when it comes to makeup, I'll spend what ever I want. I just can't get enough different colors. I will try to control myself when I go shopping tomorrow. The only consolation I have is that it will last me for a long time.

Free Pancakes

Today is the free pancakes at IHOP day. I’m super excited but I haven’t had the chance to go yet. I will not let the chance of free pancakes go. The only thing better than food is free food. I have until 10 pm tonight. Mission is a go.

New Me

This new year is really about experiencing the same things but with my new perspective on life. I’ve been having a lot of interesting conversations lately. It’s helped me a lot on how I look at myself and how I want to be. I was talking to someone about relationships and friendships. It helped me see an insight to myself that I hadn’t quite grasped before. I am so much more comfortable in my own skin and my own right than I was years ago. There is something comforting to know that I’m fine with being alone. So with that new assurance it makes making friends so much better and less stressful. Since my new goal of being more social this year, I’ve discovered that having friends are nice. I’ve spent the past two years being independent of people that I forgot how nice it is to talk to others. It helps to give me a perception that I can’t on my own. I feel like I have a good balance on my personal life and social life. I guess what I’ve learned is to just be yourself and get to know others. My attitude used to look at what others can do for me when I should be asking what I can do for others. That has changed so much how I look at social settings. I was so selfish before when I was judging others on how they can contribute to my life. There is a new attitude when I try to be a better person in someone else’s life. It takes away my fears of meeting new people and then I can genuinely just get to know that person. Fear is still a constant in my life but I think the more conscience I am of it the easier it is to overcome it.

Long live Surprise Dates

Success!! Surprise date night was awesome. Thanks so much to all my friends and especially Chrissy. She is just awesome. She dropped by and helped me set up. She made the most awesome poster. (Visual will be put up) Again I am reminded of how great of friends I have when they willingly come to my aid without any questions. Because of my lazy days, I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted. It was a scramble to get all the activities that I planned prepared. When all 11 of my friends arrived (some later than others) we started off with a “get to know each other” game. Then we discovered who our surprise date was and took a compatibility test. Happy to say that Spence and I were only 17 points apart. The closest couple was 9 points apart and the farthest was 47. One of the highlights was dinner. The course included spaghetti, salad and bread. The catch was all our hands were tied together. That‘s where the fun comes in. I think it helped to teach communication and assertiveness. In order to be able to eat you had to have the help of whoever’s hand was tied to you. You also have to help them. If you didn’t let them know that they had to help you then you didn’t get to eat. It was funny. I know it sounds like a very clean and simple dinner so I am proud to say we only had one mishap involving salad, spaghetti and Fantastic soda all on one plate. The scavenger hunt was quite a blast too. As groups of 4 we had one hour to find as much scavengers on the list as we could. As far as Spence and I went, my favorite hunts were stalking this family of 4, making a mother think we were going to kidnap her 2 little girls, having two late teen boys think they were going to show up on myspace doing yoga, a very confused and probably miffed balding Indian man and a helpful WalMart employee. I think the scavenger hunt helped every bond and work together more intimately. When we all came back to the house, it was nice to see how every one interpreted the list. The video tapes, pictures and items were classic. My favorite interpretation was raw fish. We got a picture of fresh fish from the butcher, one group got a gold fish named Hunter, and the last group took a picture of sushi. My goal was to make new friends and hopefully have new friendships formed. There was a nice mix of people who don’t normally spend a lot of time together. I think everyone had a lot of fun and hopefully will feel more comfortable to talk to each other in social settings now. Only the future will show if any love matches will be made. If there is, I will officially become a match maker. I’ve assisted in 3 other couples who are now married. A forth will make my resume more solid.

After that long and fun night I had to wake up around 6 to help out at the rodeo. If I wasn’t sure I was in Texas before, now I know I am. A rodeo. I was telling my friends from California about it. I’ve never seen so many cowboy boots and Stetsons in my life. It was pretty fun though. I was helping my friend promote a membership for her work. I am so amazed at how the thought of a free dum dum would entice people to come over. A dum dum lollipop! Come on. If it was a Blow Pop I can at least understand that. Whatever though. It was cool but a very long day. I was just a little stressed cause I was going to the orchestra at 8 and we ended at 7. I made it just in time and I’m glad I did b/c the orchestra was awesome. The solo cellist was an amazing virtuoso. I really liked their performance of Mozart’s Magic Flute. By far, it was one of my favorite performances of all time. D.U. is always such a delight to spend time with. I am just really happy with my life right now.

Lazy Days

I’ve decided that this week is just my lazy week. I didn’t feel like doing much and accomplished that goal. Next week will be better, I promise. It’s been a good week though. I got time to myself and relax. I’ve been needing that.

Tonight is the “surprise date” night. I’m excited. I’ve been planning it and hope everyone has fun. I need to finish getting the little things done. I didn’t realize how much work it would be. Also more people are into it than I thought. It makes me see who is open minded and who isn’t. I like people who are open minded. This will be a good experience to my ultimate goal of hosting a mystery dinner party. That will take a lot of planning and cooperation from people. I’m aiming for next month. I will be a lot firmer for that party because whoever comes will have to more than just open minded. I think it’s going to be creative and fun if everyone gets into it. More details will follow.

I’m also going to help out in the rodeo. I really am in Texas now. I’ve always wanted to go to a rodeo. Next up is working in a dude ranch. I think I’ll last for about thirty minuets but that has always been a life long dream. New thought, I need new and bigger dreams.

Enlightenment

Life really does get better. You can be so frustrated one day and then the next, everything falls into place. I’m back in command of my sewing skills. Sometimes you just have to walk away and when you return, bam, it all works out.
So I was at institute yesterday in the JS History class and Bro. A. said something that really stuck to me. He said JS didn’t get things perfect right away. He was a great man who lacked experience. The early struggles and disappointments he went through was to help him gain experience so we shouldn’t be discourage by failures. It made me feel better about not having all the knowledge I think I should have right away and that if things don’t work out, it will in the end. I’m learning in this life and need to gain experience. If a great man like JS can endure then I certainty can work through the petty things in my life. Bro. A. sounded a lot more eloquent and meaningful than I do but the point is to learn and endure in life.
Another almost as great thing happened at institute is my new friend D.U. brought me carrot cake. (Food always makes me happy) How sweet was that? I am always amazed at how good and selfless people are and it is a great example to me to become a better person. Acts of kindness humbles me to the core and I am reminded of how blessed I am to have such great people in my life. Recently the wonderful people around have inspired me give service. Their kindness and generosity sparks such happiness within me that I hope I can give an ounce of that to someone else.
Here’s my blog shout out to Anel: You rock girl! First caroling, then facebook buddies and now blogging. These are the recipe for great friendships.

Matchmaker

Dating has never really been my thing. I've either done it or not. I don't know how to be coy or play into the games. So as a selfless act I’ve decided to become Matchmaker. I think we all need a helping hand now and then. So I’m going to host Surprise Dates. It’s a spin on blind dates. As members of the church we all know each other. We are one big circle of friends/acquaintances so it can’t really be considered blind dates. I’m going to ask men and women if they are free for an evening and then pair them off. No prior knowledge on who will be their date, no questions on what they look like or if they are interested. It’s called “surprise” for a reason. I think this will take the edge off of trying to make a good impression since both parties don’t know who their date is but they will recognize each other. I think this is genius and people should be open minded to trying it. Apparently what they’ve done so far isn’t working. Since I’m not getting any action I might as well see about giving others the chance. Plus this will help me be more social, as that is one of my New Year’s Resolutions. We shall see how it pans out since the first official Surprise Date is going down this Friday. If no marriage comes out of it at least new friendships can be formed and who can ever say that is a failure.

I am blogging because I'm frustrated sewing right now. Patience really is a virtue. One day everything is smooth and I have garments that I am very proud of and other days, like today, I just want to throw all the fabric away and make towels. I think I just need to clear my mind and things will fall together. Oh well back to the sewing lab.

Public Persona

Well I am officially a "blogger" now. Thanks to my very good friend Chrissy Freeman, who also introduced me to Facebook, I can now journal my thoughts. As a shout out to her, she is the coolest person that always make me feel sane about teh choices I make. So thanks Chrissy and love ya lots.
It's almost a whole year since I moved here to San Antonio, TX from AZ and I have to say I love it here. Never thought I'd end up in TX of all places. I'm a Hmong girl, born in Salt Lake City, UT, raised in Stockton, CA and now lives and loves TX. Lesson learned: you never know where life will take you. My adjustment have been really nice. It really has a lot to do with the great people I've met here. TX is a very welcoming place. I reccommed it to anyone. Not sure how long I'll stay but I'm enjoying the ride.
So as I reflect on the year past and plan for this new year, I've decided to make some assertive changes in my life. The first one being that I won't let fear control me. If I'm making a decision and fear is stopping me, then I will have to truck forward. Case in point: I really wanted to learn more about clothing construction and wanted to apprentice at a tayloring store. I was super excited then started thinking that people would think I was weird and they would discover I have no talent. Normally I would have stopped but no, this is a new year and a new me. So I got the address of a company I wanted to test out and walked right in and asked if I can learn from them. It actually worked and now I go in a few hours a day. I've learned a lot about fashion and am so grateful I didn't let fear come between me and want I want.
It's still a struggle. I find myself in that fearful predictament everyday, sometimes more than once, but I'm working through it.
My other new self will try not to be so prideful. Sometimes I feel I'm the most prideful person I know. I know that it has hindered a lot of potentially great things for me. As I've slowly let go of my pride , I've learned that I'm still fine. The world didn't end and my friends still like me. I don't have to be so independant and solid all the time. It's O.K. to fall and feel stupid at times. I just have to work better next time.
I feel good about the new year though. So far it's been off to a great start and I feel like I'm back to my old, fun, outgoing self but with a much more mature emotional mind. To quote Michael Buble, "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me and I'm feeling good."