I'm not a good mom

I woke up and found Hunter dead. I think I just numbed my feelings because I didn’t want to feel like failure. Part of me wanted him to live so I can feel validated about being responsible and that I can actually keep something alive. It wasn’t that I had emotions for a fish but I think it symbolized my ability to care for something other than myself. I think what might have done him in was the lettuce. I found him tangled in it. Oh well. I’m not sappy enough to have a watery funeral so he had a garbage disposal funeral. It was convenient.
I got a cool pen from my roommate K.M. It’s from Sibiu. It was the European Capital of Culture in 2007. She say’s it’s the most romantic city she’s ever been to. I’ll take her word for it because I’ve never seen a romantic place before. Stockton, Phoenix and San Antonio don’t exactly make for romance. One day I will travel to the places that she tells me about. I’m just collecting souvenir through her right now.